I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

thumb_up thumb_down -137

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

thumb_up thumb_down +95

I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

will you marry me

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +21

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +28

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Boy : Gurle: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -40

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

thumb_up thumb_down -50

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!