- Anti-Pickup Line

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! grabs couch WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: dead Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Morals, greatest weakness revealed!: Doctor doctor! I cannot succeed at... pant pant shorts shorts whine wheeze at... At... AAAAAARGUUUUUU!!! FUCKING DOCTOR I CANNOT SUCCED AT... THE PAAAAAYNE! MAX PAYNE! BUHUHUHUHU!!! THE PAAAAINYE I CANNOT...SUCCEED AT... Doctor: At what? Shutting the fuck up? AND LEAVE THE HORSHEHEAD NETWORK? Moral: XD I cannot stop laughing, I am crying fucking tears of laughter :)) I was completely not gonna type that but then it spontaneously suddenly idea get! XD Moral: Green thumbs for self irony, this comment shall get one green thumbs ups, and it shall one green thumbs ups get, and the number of thumbs ups shall be one, as one be the number of thumbs ups. Moral: And I have not even said anything Moral: I deserve that green thumb this time! I earned it! SHAAAME YOU DARE SPOILMY GREEN THUMB OF VICTOLY WITH YOUR RED THUMB! SHAAAME! BUILD THE WALL OF FAILURE! FASTER STRONGER HARDER! I CURSE SHAME UPON YOUR SHAME AND BATHE IT IN THE WATER AND FLAMES OF SHAAAAAME! ALL BEFORE I SPrinkle it with small bits of sugar... AND SHAAAAME! LEAVE THE GREEN THUMB ALONE!!!! BUAHUAHAHA! LEAVE IT ALONEEEEEEEEE! Moral: HEEEY HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! I SAID ONE GREEN THUMB! ONE! AND ONLY MINE! SHAME!!!!

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

I think I shit myself

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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