- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.