Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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