- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

I think I shit myself

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book