-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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free candy....

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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will you marry me

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!