- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

free candy....

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

you look like my mother

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

I'll eat your poop

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book