Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!