At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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I think I shit myself

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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