Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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I think I shit myself

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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