GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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I think I shit myself

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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I'll punch ya!

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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