Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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I think I shit myself

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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