Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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I think I shit myself

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!