Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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