I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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will you marry me

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!