- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 lies

I'll eat your poop

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

I'll eat your poop

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 lies

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.