free candy....

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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