- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

I'll eat your poop

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book