- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.