What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!