- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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will you marry me

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!