- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book