Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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are you on fire?

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Glass Basketball

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!