"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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