http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!