- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

you look like my mother

Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book