-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!