Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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hey bitch

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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whats up ho

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!