I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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hey bitch

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!