Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

Have you met Ted?

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

Nice hair, can I pull it?

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

can i take a dump in your mouth?

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!