Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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hey bitch

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!