Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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hey bitch

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!