- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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hey bitch

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!