Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!