Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Have you met Ted?

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!