Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Have you met Ted?

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!