-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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whats up ho

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!