If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Lesbihonest

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!