Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!