Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!