Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

Get in the van.

Boy : Gurle: hi

Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

Business Y U No Advertise?

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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