" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!