Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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are you on fire?

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!