why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Get in the van.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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