M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Jdkfk

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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