-Get in the Van

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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will you marry me

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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