- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Business Y U No Advertise?

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Male: Get in the van.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book