-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!