Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Sex?

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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-Do you like me? -No

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!