When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!