- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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