Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!