The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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- You look really nice - I know

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!