Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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