- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Do you want to see something swell?

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book