hey you look like a good practice girl.

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!