Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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You allergic to semen?

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!