Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

thumb_up thumb_down +152

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

thumb_up thumb_down +277

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

thumb_up thumb_down +473

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

thumb_up thumb_down +334

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +248

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

you look like my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +89

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

thumb_up thumb_down +125

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +194

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

thumb_up thumb_down +153

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +204

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +239

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

thumb_up thumb_down +208

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +293

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

thumb_up thumb_down -100

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!