A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Still a better love story than Twilight

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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