-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Golf.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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I have a gun.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Sex?

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!