Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!