Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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I have no gag reflex.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!