Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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"You'll do."

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!