Are your prices by the hour

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!