Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Male: Get in the van.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!