- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.