me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

thumb_up thumb_down +90

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

thumb_up thumb_down +153

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

thumb_up thumb_down +194

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

thumb_up thumb_down -10

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

thumb_up thumb_down +420

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Welcome to DIE!

thumb_up thumb_down

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!