Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!