Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

thumb_up thumb_down -11

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

thumb_up thumb_down -179

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -149

whats up ho

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!