-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Stop Footing Around

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!