If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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