- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

My therapist says I should meet new people.

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

Does it smell in here or it just you?

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book