Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!