Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Get in the van.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!