Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

are you on fire?

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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