Soon

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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I hate you already.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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will you marry me

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!