Penis. I got it

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Do you live around here often?

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!