Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!