Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Lesbihonest

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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jack sanders

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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