- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Male: Get in the van.

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Five dollar women... WOO!

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book