Yeah... you'll have to do.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!