Does it smell in here or it just you?

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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