- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

I have a really big..... Bank Account

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book