guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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You look... clean

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!