Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!