You look... clean

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!