B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hello children! :D

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!