Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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greetings clarisse...

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Want to go out? No

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!