-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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