Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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free candy....

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Lesbihonest

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!