- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

Welcome to DIE!

Man: Dayuuuum slaps ass Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book