Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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xxxx x x x x x xx x x x x x x x x x x xxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x xxxxxx xxxxxx x x x x x x x x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x x xxxxxx xxxxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x sssssss x x x x sssssssssssssssss x x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssx x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssx x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssss sss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssss sssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssss ssssss x ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssss ssssssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssss sssssssss x x 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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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