M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Drink this!

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!