- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!