I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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