Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Jdkfk

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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