- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

thumb_up thumb_down -106

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

thumb_up thumb_down

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -241

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Lesbihonest

thumb_up thumb_down -110

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +67

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

thumb_up thumb_down +47

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down +73

can i take a dump in your mouth?

thumb_up thumb_down -124

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!