You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Jdkfk

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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I hate you already.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!