Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!