Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Man at a restaurant (that is out of everything but bar stools and alcoholic drinks): Man: Die monster! You don't belong in this world! Woman: Uh? Oh! Nice tribute to the cheesy Castlevania lines! Man:Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves! Woman: Uh... well with most of you men lacking a spine nowadays... I cant truly disagree with you... Man: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Woman: Savior? Who do you think I am? But now I am annoyed *throws glass that breaks* have at you! *slaps man* Man: HYDRO STORM! Throws a flask of water upwards as it breaks on the floor splashing the woman... Woman: NOW I AM ALL WET! YOU MORON! Dont you know me? Man: Man: M-Maria? Uh... What happened? Shaft: Damn you broke free from your spell! But it is too late! Muahahaha! Castlevania has already become a bar! Richter: Well... that's fine to me, as long as Dracula does not STEAL MEN`S SOULS! Shaft: Relax, he is into business now... Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a businessman such as him! Shaft: Seriously! I invite you both at its VIP lounge and free beer to make up for the past mistakes... Richter: Excellent! But now feel my unbridled wrath!!!!! *punches Shaft* Shaft: Ouch! So... are we even now? Richter: Considering the free beer... okay... As they arrived Castle Barlevania they both got drunk and played "vampire killer" at the stage all night... Moral: Not much a Anti-Pick up line you say? Not only did Richter make a fool out of himself, but he also got her wet ;)

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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will you marry me

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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