Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -241

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

thumb_up thumb_down -103

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

thumb_up thumb_down +44

*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

thumb_up thumb_down -174

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +222

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

thumb_up thumb_down +117

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +81

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!