Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Stop Footing Around

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!