- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... stabs

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book