- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

I've got candy.

Hello children! :D

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book