Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!