By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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free candy....

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!