Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Nice legs what time do they open

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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jack sanders

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!