You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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sound of zipper

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!