-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!