can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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sex me.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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