Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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sound of zipper

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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rohypnol. rape drug

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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