- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

My therapist says I should meet new people.

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

You smell just like my mom...

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book