Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Soon

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!