Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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I hate you already.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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