Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Want to go out? No

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!