Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Do you want to see something swell?

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!