Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!