Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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You look... clean

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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you look like my mother

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!