Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!