Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!