- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Nice legs what time do they open

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book