Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Soon

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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I'll eat your poop

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!