"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Jdkfk

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!