- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Get in the van.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!