- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!