Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Im gonna rape you..

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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all in all it was a good orgy

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!