- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

rohypnol. rape drug

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Hello children! :D

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book