Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

Put the lotion on the skin!

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

you actually look alright with the lights on.

I've got candy.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!