- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book