Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

Yeah... you'll have to do.

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

You look exactly like my sister.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!