The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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"Don't scream"

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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hey bitch

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Walking to your car alone later?

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!