Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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cockface

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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sex me.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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