Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!