-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Hey wanna smash pissers?

haha

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

"Next!"

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!