Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Gaywatch starts

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!