Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Have you met Ted?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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