He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!