A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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imgonna r@pe you

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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