Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!