Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

thumb_up thumb_down +61

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

thumb_up thumb_down -105

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Happy BirthdaySean!

thumb_up thumb_down +195

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

thumb_up thumb_down +612

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down -75

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +154

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

thumb_up thumb_down +186

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -170

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!