Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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nice kid... want another?

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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-hey, come here a minute.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!