- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

rohypnol. rape drug

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book