Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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"Don't scream"

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!