if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!