- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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-I love you.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!