Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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jack sanders

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!