Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!