Drink this!

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!