You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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haha

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!