whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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You look... clean

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Gaywatch starts

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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why are you you touching me ????

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!