Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

Business Y U No Advertise?

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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