Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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