Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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I have a gun.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!