- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

are you on fire?

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book