are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

Eat me, I'm organic!

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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