You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!