Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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jack sanders

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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