-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!