roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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