Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

You allergic to semen?

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

my dick is 2 inches

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!