Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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cockface

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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imgonna r@pe you

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!