- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!