Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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all in all it was a good orgy

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!