I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!