-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Penis. I got it

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Get in the van.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Jdkfk

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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I have a gun.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!