have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

sex me.

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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