- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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