- Anti-Pickup Line

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

fancy going halves on a bastard?

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Lol man, you know this man would never sue your ass, but... Man it takes a message here to see that you are like a super whigger. Anyway DAD! Thanks for the kind words, and seriously, you dont kiss ass on regular basis just one thing, you can reply wherever, text is cool You got the hots for your sister dude? I mean the deal was 50 uh words? Letters? Anyway its good, but DAD!... You know I never asked you to write anything about your sisters ass, its kinda weird DAD! Anyway, what do I judge, I banged my 7 years old sister back at the days where I still called her mom... Well she trained me, then I returned with the force, and now her husband kinda knows my deal and... I STILL BANG HER! <<<<< Anyway, man, keep the cash, I just wanted to show the world... Moral: Ladies and gentlemen, and this is how you make someone and anyone your bitch! Nothing personal DAD! You know that as far as I care, all my friends kneel before while my enemies are crushed under my mighty heel. Charisma... Kiddo, I know you are struggling with cash and stuff, but seriously, just for that one online, (your sisters story which id never ask you to go for helps) BUT If you have read this far (BECAUSE THE WORDS OF YOUR DARK OVERLORD ARE LAW) Then just send me a reply saying 666 and I will pay to fix whatever the hell is wrong with your car man, I cant stand the sound, and I know you can pay up, its just that times are down... ...For you. Actual code 999 (not satanist here, I hate all religion) post 666 and ill get someone to slice your tires instead.

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

"Hmm...you'll do."

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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