In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

your almost as hot as my wife

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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