Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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I've got candy.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!