If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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