Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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who wants to play EPAR

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!