Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Get in the van.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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who wants to play EPAR

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!