I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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greetings clarisse...

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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nice kid... want another?

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!