- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!