Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

GET IN THE VAN!!!

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

i am with stupid l l l \/

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

your almost as hot as my wife

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!