guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

-Do you like me? -No

your almost as hot as my wife

Glass Basketball

I have no gag reflex.

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!