-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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