Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!