I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Glass Basketball

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Hey, you want a ride?

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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who wants to play EPAR

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!