Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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I have no gag reflex.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!