Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

"Don't scream"

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

I take the the out of psychotherapist

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

You look exactly like my sister.

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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