Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!