can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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