He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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-Get in the Van

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!