Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Glass Basketball

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!