Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Wanna have sex?

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!