male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!