Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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