- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!