He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Does it smell in here or it just you?

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

thumb_up thumb_down -63

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

thumb_up thumb_down +46

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +123

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!