Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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I've got candy.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!