-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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-Get in the Van

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Wanna have sex?

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!