So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!