Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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adam burdass

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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