Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!