"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!