My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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