Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Jdkfk

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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