the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!