Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!