"Don't scream"

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Drink this!

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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I think I shit myself

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!