Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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I'll eat your poop

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!