-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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