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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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are you on fire?

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Morals, greatest weakness revealed!: Doctor doctor! I cannot succeed at... pant pant *shorts shorts* *whine wheeze* at... At... AAAAAARGUUUUUU!!! FUCKING DOCTOR I CANNOT SUCCED AT... THE PAAAAAYNE! MAX PAYNE! BUHUHUHUHU!!! THE PAAAAINYE I CANNOT...SUCCEED AT... Doctor: At what? Shutting the fuck up? AND LEAVE THE HORSHEHEAD NETWORK? Moral: XD I cannot stop laughing, I am crying fucking tears of laughter :)) I was completely not gonna type that but then it spontaneously suddenly idea get! XD Moral: Green thumbs for self irony, this comment shall get one green thumbs ups, and it shall one green thumbs ups get, and the number of thumbs ups shall be one, as one be the number of thumbs ups. Moral: And I have not even said anything Moral: I deserve that green thumb this time! I earned it! SHAAAME YOU DARE SPOILMY GREEN THUMB OF VICTOLY WITH YOUR RED THUMB! SHAAAME! BUILD THE WALL OF FAILURE! FASTER STRONGER HARDER! I CURSE SHAME UPON YOUR SHAME AND BATHE IT IN THE WATER AND FLAMES OF SHAAAAAME! ALL BEFORE I SPrinkle it with small bits of sugar... AND SHAAAAME! LEAVE THE GREEN THUMB ALONE!!!! BUAHUAHAHA! LEAVE IT ALONEEEEEEEEE! Moral: HEEEY HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! I SAID ONE GREEN THUMB! ONE! AND ONLY MINE! SHAME!!!!

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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