How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

thumb_up thumb_down -84

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +171

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

thumb_up thumb_down +95

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

thumb_up thumb_down -70

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +35

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -132

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +80

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

thumb_up thumb_down +441

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!