Five dollar women... WOO!

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!