At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!