- Anti-Pickup Line

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

Nice hair, can I pull it?

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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