- Anti-Pickup Line

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Give me some sugar... honey.

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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