Do you want to see something swell?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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you look like my mother

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Do you live around here often?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!