Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Glass Basketball

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!