Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!