I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Do you want to see something swell?

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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-I love you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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