- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

haha

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Hello children! :D

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

nice kid... want another?

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

My therapist says I should meet new people.

Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book