Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Gaywatch starts

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!