He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!