Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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You allergic to semen?

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!