Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Get in the van.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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