Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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You look... clean

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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"You'll do."

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Want to go out? No

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!