Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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I've got candy.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Hey, you want a ride?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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-Do you like me? -No

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!