Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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haha

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!