Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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"Don't scream"

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!