GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!