- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

I think I shit myself

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book