Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Stop Footing Around

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Do you live around here often?

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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