As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +49

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -943

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +906

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

thumb_up thumb_down +48

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

thumb_up thumb_down +553

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

thumb_up thumb_down +96

why are you you touching me ????

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Your skin would make a nice coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +255

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!