- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are your prices by the hour

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

-I love you.

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book