Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!