- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book