Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!