- Anti-Pickup Line

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Soon

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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