Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!