- Anti-Pickup Line

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book