-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!