hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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I hate you already.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!