Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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your almost as hot as my wife

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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