guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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