Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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"Next!"

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!