Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!