Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

"Next!"

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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