Want to go out? No

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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