Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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