"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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sound of zipper

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!