Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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"Next!"

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!