- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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