Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!