boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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- You look really nice - I know

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!