"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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