Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Nice legs what time do they open

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!