Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Soon

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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cockface

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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nice kid... want another?

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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