boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jdkfk

thumb_up thumb_down +153

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

thumb_up thumb_down +89

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

thumb_up thumb_down -65

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

thumb_up thumb_down +175

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -165

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

jack sanders

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!