i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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I hate you already.

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!