I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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imgonna r@pe you

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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