Hey, you want a ride?

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!