hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Golf.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!