- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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"Don't scream"

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!