Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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So when' the baby due?

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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