Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

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I think I shit myself

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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