Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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rohypnol. rape drug

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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hey bitch

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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greetings clarisse...

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!