Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!