Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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You look exactly like my sister.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Lesbihonest

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!