HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Want to go out? No

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Jdkfk

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!