Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!