You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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-Get in the Van

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!