I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Penis. I got it

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

why are you you touching me ????

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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