Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!