B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Hello children! :D

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!