Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Want to go out? No

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Stop Footing Around

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!