- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

You look... clean

hey bitch

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

i am with stupid l l l \/

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.