"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Stop Footing Around

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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