- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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"You'll do."

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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hey bitch

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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sex me.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!