Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

"You'll do."

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

GET IN THE VAN!!!

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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