- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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