Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

can i take a dump in your mouth?

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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