Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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