Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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your almost as hot as my wife

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!