- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book