Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Gaywatch starts

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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"Don't scream"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!