- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

EVERYONE ELSE

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book