Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!