Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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"Next!"

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Penis. I got it

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!