On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Jdkfk

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!