Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +223

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

thumb_up thumb_down -41

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

thumb_up thumb_down -40

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

thumb_up thumb_down +151

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Welcome to DIE!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +178

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +904

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

thumb_up thumb_down +191

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!