girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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I have no gag reflex.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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jack sanders

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!