On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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will you marry me

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Stop Footing Around

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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