Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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I hate you already.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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