Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!