- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

can i take a dump in your mouth?

your boobs are bigger than my nose

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book