"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -231

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

thumb_up thumb_down -59

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -141

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

thumb_up thumb_down +72

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +86

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +4

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!