Hi I'm Shaniqua.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Ryu at a Bar: Hey lady, you seem to be battle ready ;) wanna come home and get to know each other? I know some very "special moves" ;) Girl: Battle ready? Uh... "special moves eh?" OKAY! 2 weeks later: Girlfriend: Puff... puff... when you spoke about how you truly love me with all your heart... I expected more than... this fighting all the time... I wanna see these "special moves" you talk about ;) ;) ;) Ryu: The truth lies in the heart of battle! Girlfriend: Uh sure dear, but can I please go talk with my friends? I feel kind of beaten from uh... all the beatings... and lack of poundings... Ryu: Well... we have been fighting for hours so... SUREYOUCAN!!!! SMACK!!!!! Girlfriend: EEEEEEEEK! EEEEEEEEEK! EEEEEEEEEK! Announcer: KO! YOU WIN! DEFECT! Skill 00000000 Level of Moron 9001 Bonus 98493849384394839483. Ryu: You have to beat Shen Long to stand a chan... I mean I am so sorry dear! I must have walked a bit forward then accidentally ducked and jumped slightly upwards while using my strong punch button!... I am so sorry... its basically all I know to do! Girlfriend: I am sick of this! I am leaving you! Ryu: Argh... I AM BEING LEFT AGAIN? NOOH! Its the Dark... Hadou... I...WILL NOT LET YOU ESCAPE MY EVIL! HADOUUUUUUUKEN! Girlfriend: (dodges) HELP! SOMEONE FIND A DOCTOR! 2 Weeks later: Ryu: yes this... dark side takes me over and... its because all I know is Street Fighting and... uh some Street Fisting but I am new to that an.. Dr. Bob Sagat: Uh yes... well I am afraid you suffer from Schizophrenia Mr... uh...Hoshi? Ryu: Just Ryu...That Hoshi crap is just from the hilariously bad mov... Dr. Bob Sagat: Ok, so just take these medications and this "evil" "side" of you will not bother anyone anymore... now excuse me, I must leave, I have to feed my TIGER! TIGER! TIGER! TIGER! Ryu: huh? Dr.Bob Sagat I have four Tigers you see, and I am training them to do a TIGER UPPERCUT! Ryu: Ok... Ex-Girlfriend: What the hell did this have to do with pick-up? Ryu: Well Uh... do not leave me, I suck at it and I... dont leave! NOOOOOOOOOOO! My... medication... Later Akuma: Hey girl... heard you want something better than your weakling ex Ryu. Girl: Sniff... yeah he is all crazy and stuff... Akuma: Well... I can replace him, I look almost the same without this stupid wig and fake red lenses... besides they do not call me the master of fisting for nothing ;) Girl: SUREYOUCAN! Bonus scenes: Dr.Bob Sagat: You stupid TIGER! Will never learn to do a TIGER UPPERCUT! I am tired of all of you! TIGER GENOCIDE! Special message from WWE (the animal protectors not Wrestling Entertainment you moron): please save the last remaining TIGER! From Dr.Bob Sagats UPPERCUT!

Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

Welcome to DIE!

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

hey Herpes Go Away!

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!