guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

thumb_up thumb_down +11

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

thumb_up thumb_down -45

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

thumb_up thumb_down -67

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

thumb_up thumb_down -84

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

thumb_up thumb_down +970

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

thumb_up thumb_down +35

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +154

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

thumb_up thumb_down -101

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!