Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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-hey, come here a minute.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!