Don't turn this rape into a murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

thumb_up thumb_down +356

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -68

"Don't scream"

thumb_up thumb_down +89

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

thumb_up thumb_down +81

-hey, come here a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

thumb_up thumb_down -54

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

thumb_up thumb_down -30

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

thumb_up thumb_down -106

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!