"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!