- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!