Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!