I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

thumb_up thumb_down +168

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hey girl! Faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +8

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

thumb_up thumb_down +51

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

thumb_up thumb_down +139

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

thumb_up thumb_down -42

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!