"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!