- Anti-Pickup Line

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

whats up ho

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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