- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: sigh Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book