- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Boy : Gurle: hi

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book