-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!