Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!