-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Get in the van.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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