I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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