Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -73

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

thumb_up thumb_down -22

you actually look alright with the lights on.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

thumb_up thumb_down -73

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

thumb_up thumb_down +26

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

thumb_up thumb_down +250

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

thumb_up thumb_down +579

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

thumb_up thumb_down +127

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!