Male: Get in the van.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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