Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

I take the the out of psychotherapist

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

Want to go out? No

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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