I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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cockface

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!