- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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I have a gun.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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you look like my mother

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Stop Footing Around

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!