Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Want to go out? No

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!