Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!