A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Business Y U No Advertise?

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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