Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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-Get in the Van

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!