If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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sex me.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!