Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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