-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!