Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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why are you you touching me ????

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!