Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

imgonna r@pe you

thumb_up thumb_down -136

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

thumb_up thumb_down +189

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -105

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -186

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -21

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down -60

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

thumb_up thumb_down -91

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +27

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

thumb_up thumb_down +263

A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!