- Anti-Pickup Line

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

haha

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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