Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -72

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +263

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +163

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +78

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

thumb_up thumb_down +113

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -243

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How much do you like peanut butter?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!