Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!