Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

cockface

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

who wants to play EPAR

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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