male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Stable relationships are for horses.

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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