- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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"Don't scream"

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!