"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!