- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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