Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!