At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!