It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!