Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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