Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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will you marry me

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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haha

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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- You look really nice - I know

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Wanna have sex?

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!