Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!