- Anti-Pickup Line

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

How much do you like peanut butter?

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Five dollar women... WOO!

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

"OMG A SAMSUNG!" Lol, thats cool man, as for the car, the engine is shiny and flawless, (you know for a fiat) and I have not used it since I you know "bought it" as in won it from my ex while playing poker? Id give it back to her if she was not such a bitch. Honestly dude, its a fiat, and that piece of shit you call a car, I mean man, we have been towed from the free way like six times already? XD And that is just the few times I want to sit in that piece of shit XD I mean the seats pop off and there is "custom space to transport marijuana there man XD" I seriously hope you bought it that way, because stoners aint my friends. Seriously dude, the Fiat (aka "car") is yours, you know that you are bankrupt because you keep trying to fix that piece of shit on wheels of yours XD, and hey, surprise kiddo, I renewed the engine, so its new and shiny, and free, and fuck if not only the engine itself is worth ten more times than... A billion of those pieces of shit you drive XD No seriously, you know me, Im The Hannibal, I am the beast but I like it classy, and its pretty embarrassing sitting on that piece of shit you call for a car. I know we are from different worlds pal, but take it, just gave myself a bonus at work (legal of course) but I got to say it... "A SAMSUNG OMG" XD And yeah, I know you been eyeballing that "car" aka Fiat, its yours whenever you want it, just tell people I am leasing it to you (I mean it I really do, thats my only condition) Moral: "I DRIVE PIECES OF SHIT FOR BREAKFAST!" PROTIP FOR GETTING ANYWHERE IN YOUR CAR: Put it The opposite way, and have the towing car tow you TOWARDS the place you want to get to XD (hey, how many times you been towed JUST from the freeway? I mean I hate hunting, but do you really use that shit in the Forrest too? Answer here, be real, and come get your car.

Male: Get in the van.

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!