I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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