- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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