Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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free candy....

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Want to go out? No

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!