- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Male: Get in the van.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

adam burdass

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book