-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Sex?

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!