hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!