I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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will you marry me

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!