- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

Drink this!

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book