Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!