Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!