“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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