- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

I have a gun.

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book