Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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- You look really nice - I know

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!