hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

So when' the baby due?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +151

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

thumb_up thumb_down +115

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

thumb_up thumb_down +150

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +114

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Do you live around here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +160

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

thumb_up thumb_down +176

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!