Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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