I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Gaywatch starts

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

Nice hair, can I pull it?

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

So when' the baby due?

Hey wanna smash pissers?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!