- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!