Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

"Don't scream"

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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