Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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