- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -41

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +72

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down

Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

who wants to play EPAR

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!