GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

thumb_up thumb_down -88

"Hmm...you'll do."

thumb_up thumb_down +56

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

thumb_up thumb_down -86

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I'm desperate, you'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +252

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!