Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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"Next!"

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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haha

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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