Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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adam burdass

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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