I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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