How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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