- Anti-Pickup Line

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

greetings clarisse...

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

How much do you like peanut butter?

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!