If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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my dick is 2 inches

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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