B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Wanna have sex?

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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