Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!