Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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I've got candy.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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