Lesbihonest

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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all in all it was a good orgy

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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