Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -236

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

thumb_up thumb_down +152

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

thumb_up thumb_down -170

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

-I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

thumb_up thumb_down +275

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

GET IN THE VAN!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +180

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +248

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!