- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!