If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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