Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!