- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

Lesbihonest

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

This doesn't have to be a rape.

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book