Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Get in the van.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!