Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

You look... clean

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!