- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book