- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Welcome to DIE!

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!