-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!