I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

Walking to your car alone later?

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!