- Anti-Pickup Line

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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