"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!