Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

thumb_up thumb_down +207

Jdkfk

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you live around here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +171

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +79

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

thumb_up thumb_down -162

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

thumb_up thumb_down +21

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +11

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1,020

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +220

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

thumb_up thumb_down +157

your almost as hot as my wife

thumb_up thumb_down -23

*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +210

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!