- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

"Hmm...you'll do."

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book