Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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free candy....

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!