Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!