- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... silence

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book