Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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nice kid... want another?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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