-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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my dick is 2 inches

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!