M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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rohypnol. rape drug

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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I'll punch ya!

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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