good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!