I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +516

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

thumb_up thumb_down -71

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

thumb_up thumb_down -26

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

thumb_up thumb_down +16

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

thumb_up thumb_down +154

Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

thumb_up thumb_down -143

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!