- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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You look... clean

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!