Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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sex me.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!