Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

thumb_up thumb_down -31

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down +70

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -54

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

thumb_up thumb_down -567

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

thumb_up thumb_down -350

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +867

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

thumb_up thumb_down -864

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -145

GET IN THE VAN!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -100

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +394

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

thumb_up thumb_down -226

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

thumb_up thumb_down -631

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

thumb_up thumb_down +311

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +290

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

thumb_up thumb_down +54

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -996

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

thumb_up thumb_down +396

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +388

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!