- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

Walking to your car alone later?

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

So when' the baby due?

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book