Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Wanna have sex?

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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sex me.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!