-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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greetings clarisse...

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I have no gag reflex.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!