- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: bitchslap get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

GET IN THE VAN!!!

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.