And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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