Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!