Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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adam burdass

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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"Next!"

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!