Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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imgonna r@pe you

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!