-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!