You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Glass Basketball

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!