- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

nice kid... want another?

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

Drink this!

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book