Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!