G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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"You'll do."

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jack sanders

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!