Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!