- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Do you want to see something swell?

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Man at a restaurant (that is out of everything but bar stools and alcoholic drinks): Man: Die monster! You don't belong in this world! Woman: Uh? Oh! Nice tribute to the cheesy Castlevania lines! Man:Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves! Woman: Uh... well with most of you men lacking a spine nowadays... I cant truly disagree with you... Man: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Woman: Savior? Who do you think I am? But now I am annoyed *throws glass that breaks* have at you! *slaps man* Man: HYDRO STORM! Throws a flask of water upwards as it breaks on the floor splashing the woman... Woman: NOW I AM ALL WET! YOU MORON! Dont you know me? Man: Man: M-Maria? Uh... What happened? Shaft: Damn you broke free from your spell! But it is too late! Muahahaha! Castlevania has already become a bar! Richter: Well... that's fine to me, as long as Dracula does not STEAL MEN`S SOULS! Shaft: Relax, he is into business now... Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a businessman such as him! Shaft: Seriously! I invite you both at its VIP lounge and free beer to make up for the past mistakes... Richter: Excellent! But now feel my unbridled wrath!!!!! *punches Shaft* Shaft: Ouch! So... are we even now? Richter: Considering the free beer... okay... As they arrived Castle Barlevania they both got drunk and played "vampire killer" at the stage all night... Moral: Not much a Anti-Pick up line you say? Not only did Richter make a fool out of himself, but he also got her wet ;)

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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