“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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