- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book