you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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cockface

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!