Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!