-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Are your prices by the hour

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!