-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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hey bitch

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Nice legs what time do they open

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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cockface

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!