(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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-Do you like me? -No

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!