http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -61

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +3

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +483

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

thumb_up thumb_down +116

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1,214

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +18

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

thumb_up thumb_down +257

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

thumb_up thumb_down -238

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +267

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!