Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!