Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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imgonna r@pe you

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Do you live around here often?

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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