Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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I think I shit myself

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!