- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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cockface

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!