Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Gaywatch starts

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Sex?

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Drink this!

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!