- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

GET IN THE VAN!!!

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!