And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!