- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

free candy....

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

I'll eat your poop

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

Hey girl! Faggot.

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*