- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

Jdkfk

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book