- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Gaywatch starts

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!