man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!