sex me.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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free candy....

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Hey, you want a ride?

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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will you marry me

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!