B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!