Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Get in the van.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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