Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Penis. I got it

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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my dick is 2 inches

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hey bitch

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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