- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!