I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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