"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!