Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!