Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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