He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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free candy....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!