Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!