What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

This doesn't have to be a rape.

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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