Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!