roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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