-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!