I'll punch ya!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

thumb_up thumb_down +90

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -175

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

thumb_up thumb_down +196

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

thumb_up thumb_down +25

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

This doesn't have to be a rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

thumb_up thumb_down -85

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

thumb_up thumb_down -52

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!