- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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