- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

can i take a dump in your mouth?

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

"Next!"

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...