Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

hey bitch

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!