-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Penis. I got it

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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