Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Boy : Gurle: hi

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

Want to go out? No

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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