-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!