It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +80

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

thumb_up thumb_down -72

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

thumb_up thumb_down -169

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!