Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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will you marry me

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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imgonna r@pe you

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!