At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!