NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Hey, you want a ride?

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!