Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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sound of zipper

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!