In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

So when' the baby due?

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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