Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Lesbihonest

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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