- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

I have a really big..... Bank Account

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

So when' the baby due?

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

fancy going halves on a bastard?

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book