Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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-I love you.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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-Do you like me? -No

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!