-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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adam burdass

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why are you you touching me ????

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!