-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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are you on fire?

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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"You'll do."

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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