4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!