- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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-Get in the Van

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!