I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!