Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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free candy....

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!