Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!