- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

He:walks over She: What is it now? He:Unzips fly. She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

hey baby i just came in my pants

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

So, you're a girl, huh?

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- sound of gun clicking Woman: Thanks!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book