Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Yeah... you'll have to do.

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

Golf.

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

I have a really big..... Bank Account

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

Stop Footing Around

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!