Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Do you live around here often?

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Stop Footing Around

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!