Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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I think I shit myself

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!