How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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- You look really nice - I know

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!