Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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who wants to play EPAR

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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