- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

I'm desperate, you'll do.

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book