-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!