Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +87

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Stop Footing Around

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whatever I'll just date myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!