- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

"Next!"

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!