Jdkfk

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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"Next!"

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!