Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!