ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

so... you're a girl,huh?

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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