- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!