"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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haha

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!