Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!