- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

"Hmm...you'll do."

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... stabs

fancy going halves on a bastard?

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

free candy....

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Put the lotion on the skin!

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book