HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!