HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!