- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

Jdkfk

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Drink this!

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

nice kid... want another?

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book