You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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