- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book