-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Male: Get in the van.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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