Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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You smell just like my mom...

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!