A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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will you marry me

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!