I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!