is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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