male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

You allergic to semen?

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

Yeah... you'll have to do.

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

hey bitch

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!