Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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