Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

I've got candy.

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

greetings clarisse...

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

"Next!"

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

fancy going halves on a bastard?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!