Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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