Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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"Next!"

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!