Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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hey bitch

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!