Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

Five dollar women... WOO!

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

"You'll do."

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

who wants to play EPAR

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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