Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!