Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Golf.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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