- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! grabs couch WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: dead Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

-hey, come here a minute.

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time