Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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nice kid... want another?

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Golf.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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hey bitch

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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who wants to play EPAR

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!