Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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