And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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whats up ho

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Stop Footing Around

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!