baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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