Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!