your boobs are bigger than my nose

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your body would look good in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -213

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

thumb_up thumb_down +70

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

thumb_up thumb_down -311

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

thumb_up thumb_down +112

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

thumb_up thumb_down -200

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

so... you're a girl,huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!