Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Lesbihonest

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

rohypnol. rape drug

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!