I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

thumb_up thumb_down +449

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

thumb_up thumb_down -99

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

thumb_up thumb_down -11

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -208

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +266

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

thumb_up thumb_down +148

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +79

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +30

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!