Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

thumb_up thumb_down -7

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

thumb_up thumb_down +586

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down +73

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!