Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

will you marry me

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

thumb_up thumb_down -163

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +72

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +246

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +180

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

thumb_up thumb_down +152

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!