Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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