Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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nice kid... want another?

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imgonna r@pe you

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!