if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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