- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

Want to go out? No

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Do you live around here often?

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book