If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!