Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!