-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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"You'll do."

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!