Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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I've got candy.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!