who wants to play EPAR

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Do you live around here often?

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Glass Basketball

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Stop Footing Around

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You look... clean

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!