- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

Walking to your car alone later?

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

i want a blowjob bitch lifts her hijab

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book