Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!