Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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