guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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