I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!