Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

-Do you like me? -No

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

haha

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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