If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Wanna have sex?

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!