Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!