"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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You smell just like my mom...

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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