"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!