Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Do you live around here often?

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!