- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!