- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? draws gun Moral: Pretty immoral

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

"Don't scream"

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

"Hmm...you'll do."

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book