Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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sex me.

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!