Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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I have no gag reflex.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!