- Anti-Pickup Line

Hey whigs just thinking, you think these will get approved as "anti-pickuplines?" XD Anyway, relax dog, the car is yours, and yes its a custom engine I trimmed myself, never drove it but its like a fucking hummingbird, just be careful dawg, it drives far faster than the damn spedometer or whatever its called says, so if it says 30 whatevers, you are driving at double (ill fix that for you, was gonna do it anyways but I am at work now) Man, I increased productivity with 33 percent with my speeches and campaigns, if that bonus isnt legal then im quitting AFTER I DECREASE productivity with 120... By quitting... basically. Get a cab dude, dont turn into some spoiled asskissing piece of shit that hangs around for the money (not more than you already do, jk bro) and ill throw in the fucking bill for the cabfare, but you know the trust system whiggs, receipts always. Oh, and yeah anyone asks, you leased it, and just for the Nero says comment, I was watching that shit How I raped your mother with my wife, and I get to give you five slaps! At random times, as hard as I can.. ...You know I got small hands, and your sister knows that small hands just means the paperwork kind, while big other stuff, means fucked since I was nice. Yeah its at the summer vista whatever, playboy mansion my ass... Its actually a bit larger (a lot less uh the area around tho, listen man, im done doing my... well girls, so im gonna get some sleep soon, so if you got more to say, make it fast... Moral: You know I have always been EVERYONES GOD MINION, DARK FALLEN GOD OF CHAOS AND... Sex, money, yeah... REMEMBER: Push the pedal on that Fiat of yours, and you will end up wrecking the car on the paper thin walls on my garage, so watch the speed limit, if you end up killng yourself, Ill never forgive myse... Wait... ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER AND BANG HER... Because... Ahh... You know, girls wont get off me, now hurry the hell up and just say you are coming over or not, because I need an excuse to get... Wait for it... Wait for it... NOT YOUR SISTER OF ME! But hey, im honest to your sister, this man gots love for all the girls in his life, or he dont deserve them. Answer asap, or im wrecking the car, seriously, answer quick and its yours... On the phone is fine.

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

How much do you like peanut butter?

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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