- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

thumb_up thumb_down +71

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

thumb_up thumb_down -176

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

thumb_up thumb_down +91

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +139

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

I'll eat your poop

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +213

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!