Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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