Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

Put the lotion on the skin!

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

who wants to play EPAR

Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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