- Anti-Pickup Line

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

You look... clean

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

"You'll do."

i want a blowjob bitch lifts her hijab

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

your almost as hot as my wife

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

So, you're a girl, huh?

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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