Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Im gonna rape you..

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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sex me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!