Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!