Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Stop Footing Around

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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You smell just like my mom...

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!