Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

hey Herpes Go Away!

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

Are your prices by the hour

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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