-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

Get in the van.

*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

who wants to play EPAR

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!