is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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I'll punch ya!

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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