Don't turn this rape into a murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

thumb_up thumb_down +950

Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +248

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down -44

can i take a dump in your mouth?

thumb_up thumb_down -143

Five dollar women... WOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -119

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -57

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +46

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

thumb_up thumb_down +43

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -59

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!