- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Lesbihonest

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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EVERYONE ELSE

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!