Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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hey bitch

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I'll eat your poop

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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