whats up ho

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Get in the van.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!