- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Do you live around here often?

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Penis. I got it

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

You look exactly like my sister.

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book