At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!