Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!