Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Sex?

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!