Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Have you met Ted?

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!