Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Wanna have sex?

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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are you on fire?

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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-Get in the Van

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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