- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: sigh Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

"Next!"

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

Hey can I have your number? No.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

hey baby i just came in my pants

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book