Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

thumb_up thumb_down -166

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1,042

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +441

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down +116

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +440

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!