- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

I've got candy.

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is zip FEMALE: gurgle gurgle scream

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book