Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Lesbihonest

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!