Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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