- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S , OFF!"

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

I think I shit myself

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

"Hmm...you'll do."

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....