do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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I have no gag reflex.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!