- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... stabs

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book