Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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-I love you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!