your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!