Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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I think I shit myself

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!