-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!