male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Lesbihonest

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!