I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

whats up ho

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

adam burdass

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!