Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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why are you you touching me ????

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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