- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

- You look really nice - I know

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book