Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!