- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Im gonna rape you..

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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