hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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you look like my mother

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!