- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Nice legs what time do they open

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

cockface

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book