- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book