- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!