You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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jack sanders

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!