Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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You look... clean

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Drink this!

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!