Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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