When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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my dick is 2 inches

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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I've got candy.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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