From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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You allergic to semen?

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Anti-Pickup Line

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