What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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imgonna r@pe you

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Sex?

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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