your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!