At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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whats up ho

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!