Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!