Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!