- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!