Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Do you live around here often?

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Soon

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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So when' the baby due?

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!