Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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You smell just like my mom...

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!