From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Hello children! :D

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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adam burdass

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Sex?

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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