-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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I'll punch ya!

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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adam burdass

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!