did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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haha

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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