- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Nice legs what time do they open

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

free candy....

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

Hey wanna smash pissers?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book