are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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cockface

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!