Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!