Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

Hello children! :D

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!