-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Golf.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Drink this!

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!