Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Glass Basketball

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

hey bitch

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

I've got candy.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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