You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

EVERYONE ELSE

Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!