Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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I think I shit myself

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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