- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

can i take a dump in your mouth?

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

I've got candy.

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book