"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Sex?

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!