- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!