Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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I hate you already.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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are you on fire?

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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