I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!