Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Do you live around here often?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!