Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i am with stupid l l l \/

thumb_up thumb_down +216

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

This doesn't have to be a rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

thumb_up thumb_down

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

thumb_up thumb_down +93

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +211

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

thumb_up thumb_down -72

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

thumb_up thumb_down +13

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

thumb_up thumb_down +43

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!