- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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cockface

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Glass Basketball

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!