Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!