Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Drink this!

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!