I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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You look... clean

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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- You look really nice - I know

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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