men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Do you want to see something swell?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!