- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

I'll punch ya!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book