-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Jdkfk

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Do you live around here often?

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Gaywatch starts

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!