- Anti-Pickup Line

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

cockface

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

Whatever I'll just date myself.

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!