Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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Jdkfk

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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I have a gun.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Male: Get in the van.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!