Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!