roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Gaywatch starts

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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adam burdass

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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free candy....

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!