Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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will you marry me

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Wanna have sex?

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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You look... clean

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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hey bitch

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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haha

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!