hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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You allergic to semen?

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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