Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Jdkfk

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!