-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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why are you you touching me ????

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!