Happy BirthdaySean!

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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