A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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