Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Glass Basketball

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!