-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

thumb_up thumb_down -80

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -168

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +67

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

thumb_up thumb_down -75

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down +75

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

thumb_up thumb_down +119

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +325

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

thumb_up thumb_down -54

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +91

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

thumb_up thumb_down -110

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!