rohypnol. rape drug

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!