Male: Get in the van.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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I have a gun.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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I hate you already.

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!