He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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nice kid... want another?

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!