Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Im gonna rape you..

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!