Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!