- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

my dick is 2 inches

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book