Hey girl! Faggot.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Penis. I got it

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!