violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!