Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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