Do you live around here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +158

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

thumb_up thumb_down -65

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -169

- You look really nice - I know

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -214

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey wanna smash pissers?

thumb_up thumb_down -145

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -236

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!