You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!