hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!