Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Glass Basketball

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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You look exactly like my sister.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!