ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!