on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Want to go out? No

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!