- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

Walking to your car alone later?

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

you look like my mother

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book