"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

you look like my mother

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Jdkfk

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

Gaywatch starts

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!