Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!