That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

thumb_up thumb_down +201

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -69

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

thumb_up thumb_down +187

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

thumb_up thumb_down +110

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

thumb_up thumb_down +55

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +257

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

thumb_up thumb_down +197

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +173

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!