if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


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