- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

-hey, come here a minute.

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

He:walks over She: What is it now? He:Unzips fly. She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book