Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!