Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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