Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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