whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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adam burdass

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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I'll eat your poop

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Welcome to DIE!

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!