Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Glass Basketball

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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