Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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