i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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So when' the baby due?

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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