Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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I have a gun.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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I hate you already.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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You look... clean

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!