- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

imgonna r@pe you

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Yeah... you'll have to do.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.