Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!