“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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