Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!