The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

you look like my mother

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!