Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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"Don't scream"

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!