Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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are you on fire?

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Do you want to see something swell?

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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I think I shit myself

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!