Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Drink this!

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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So when' the baby due?

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!