Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!