if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!