hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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whats up ho

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!