Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

EVERYONE ELSE

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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