Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!