You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!