- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book