girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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You look exactly like my sister.

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!