-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

You allergic to semen?

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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