-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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