I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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-Do you like me? -No

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!