I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Jdkfk

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!