"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

your almost as hot as my wife

thumb_up thumb_down -69

You smell just like my mom...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Whatever I'll just date myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

rohypnol. rape drug

thumb_up thumb_down -91

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

thumb_up thumb_down +19

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

thumb_up thumb_down +479

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!