Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Jdkfk

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!