- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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