The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I have a gun.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!