did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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