- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Soon

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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hey bitch

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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you look like my mother

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!