hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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