-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!