Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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"You'll do."

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!