- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

Stable relationships are for horses.

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

Does it smell in here or it just you?

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

Give me some sugar... honey.

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book