- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

I've got candy.

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book