Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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