- Anti-Pickup Line

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

so... you're a girl,huh?

Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

I hate you already.

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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