Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!