With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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hey bitch

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I hate you already.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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I have a gun.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!