If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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- You look really nice - I know

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Penis. I got it

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!