Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Welcome to DIE!

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!