How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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