- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Stop Footing Around

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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