If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!