Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

all in all it was a good orgy

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

Still a better love story than Twilight

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!