-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!