-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +9

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

thumb_up thumb_down +330

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!