Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

Whatever I'll just date myself.

can i take a dump in your mouth?

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

Stop Footing Around

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

Sex?

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Are your prices by the hour

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Five dollar women... WOO!

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!