Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!