- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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I think I shit myself

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!