-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!