-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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all in all it was a good orgy

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Get in the van.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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haha

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!