It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

Golf.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

"Hmm...you'll do."

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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