Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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