- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! Throws couch at woman WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: dead Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

will you marry me

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book