That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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"You'll do."

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Want to go out? No

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!