Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!