Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!