Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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