Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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I have a gun.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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