guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!