Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!