I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!