Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

thumb_up thumb_down -80

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +372

Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

thumb_up thumb_down -145

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

thumb_up thumb_down +336

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!