Your skin would make a nice coat.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Drink this!

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"Don't scream"

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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I have no gag reflex.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!