- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

will you marry me

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

Boy looks at cloth -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book