Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

Stable relationships are for horses.

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

fancy going halves on a bastard?

-hey, come here a minute.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

I love Mark Wahlberg!

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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