Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Get in the van.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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