- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

Sex?

Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Boy looks at cloth -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book