- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!