- Anti-Pickup Line

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Im gonna rape you..

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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