Walking to your car alone later?

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

"You'll do."

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

Your skin would make a nice coat.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

You look... clean

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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