I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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I've got candy.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!