- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Jdkfk

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book