- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

My therapist says I should meet new people.

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S , OFF!"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book