-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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"You'll do."

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You look... clean

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!