Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!