wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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I have no gag reflex.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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