Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Want to go out? No

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!