- Anti-Pickup Line

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! Woman laughs Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go gives phone girl - silence after awkward phone call boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - silence boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy boy manages to get out of the bar boy installs bomb in center of bar boy leaves bar everyone attempts to get out of bar boy locks the door boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- explosion everyone dies MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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