My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!