-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!