Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Gaywatch starts

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Penis. I got it

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!