-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!