-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Glass Basketball

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!