male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -184

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

thumb_up thumb_down +217

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +108

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

thumb_up thumb_down -113

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

thumb_up thumb_down +462

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +86

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

thumb_up thumb_down +137

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!