Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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sex me.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!