-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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You smell just like my mom...

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!