EVERYONE ELSE

Walking to your car alone later?

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

imgonna r@pe you

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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