- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!