Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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I hate you already.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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