- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.