If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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why are you you touching me ????

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Walking to your car alone later?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!