guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!