Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

thumb_up thumb_down -71

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

thumb_up thumb_down +79

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Want to go out? No

thumb_up thumb_down +66

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

thumb_up thumb_down -103

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

thumb_up thumb_down +111

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!