Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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-Get in the Van

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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Get in the van.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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