my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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nice kid... want another?

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Drink this!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!