man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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- You look really nice - I know

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!