H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

Im gonna rape you..

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!