-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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"Next!"

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!