Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Im gonna rape you..

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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my dick is 2 inches

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!