boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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I have no gag reflex.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!