-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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EVERYONE ELSE

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!