so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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oooo oo o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o xxxxxxxxxxxxxx o o xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx o xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx o xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x x x xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxx x x x x xxxxxxx xxxxxxx x x x x xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxxxxxxx xxx xxxxxxx xx xxxx x x x xx x x xxxx x x x x x xx x x x x x x x x x x xxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x xxxxxx xxxxxx x x x x x x x x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x x xxxxxx xxxxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x sssssss x x x x sssssssssssssssss x x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssx x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssx x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssss sss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssss sssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssss ssssss x ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssss ssssssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssss sssssssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssss sss sssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x xx sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xxsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x xxxxx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss xxxxxxx xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss xxxxx xx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ... ssss xx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. ..... ssss xxx xxxx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssss... ...... sssss x xxx xxx xsssssssssssssssssssssss .... .......... sssx x xx xsssxxssssssssssssssssss ........ ............ sssss xssssssssssssssssssssssss ........... ............. ssssssxsssssssssssssssssssssssss .............. ................ ssssssssssssssssssssssss ................... .................. ssssssssssssssssssss ..................... ................... sssssssssssssssss ....................... .................... ssssssssssssss ........................ ....................... ssssssssss .......................... ........................ ssssss ............................. ......................... ssss ............................. .......................... s ............................... ........................... ................................ ......................... ................................. ........................ .................................. ....................... .................................. ...................... .................................. ..................... .................................. .................... ................................... .................. .................................. ................. .................................... ............... ..................................... .............. ..................................... ............. ..................................... ........... ...................................... .......... ...................................... ......... ...................................... ......... .................................... ....... ..................................... ..... ..................................... .... ..................................... ... ..................................... .. .................................... ...................................... ..................................... ..................................... ..................................... .................................... .................................... ................................... ................................... ................................ ................................ ............................... . .............................. .. ............................ .... ............................. .... ............................ ..... ........................... ..... ......................... ...... ....................... ......... ..................... .......... ..................... .......... ..................... ........... ..................... ........... ..................... ........... .................... ............ .................... ............ .................... ............ .................... ............ .................... ............ .................. .............. .................. .............. .................. .............. ................. .............. ................. ............. ................. ............. ................ .............. ................ ............. ................ ............. ............... ............ ............... ............. .............. ............. ............. ............ ............. ............ ............ ............ ........... ............ ........... ............ ......... ............ ......... ............ ......... ........... ......... ...........

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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my dick is 2 inches

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


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