You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Do you want to see something swell?

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who wants to play EPAR

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!