Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

can i take a dump in your mouth?

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

Have you met Ted?

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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