“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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adam burdass

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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