Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

- You look really nice - I know

thumb_up thumb_down

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +65

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

thumb_up thumb_down +154

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1,003

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +68

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -121

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

thumb_up thumb_down +351

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

thumb_up thumb_down -500

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!