I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!