I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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