Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

thumb_up thumb_down -97

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

thumb_up thumb_down +102

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -37

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

thumb_up thumb_down -8

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

thumb_up thumb_down -14

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

thumb_up thumb_down -13

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!