-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!