-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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