- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

You smell just like my mom...

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book