- Anti-Pickup Line

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

Me: You know what bitch... You are burp such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... facepalm

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!