Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Lol, waifu and Rebecca are like "do you have to type so much? Come back prince charming... ...I Am all NO! AND CALL ME MASTER BISON. SO ANYWAY SHORT coMMENT SEE? I DONT HAVE TO TYPE AS MUCH! AND NOW THAT THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING BECAUSE OF MY SHEET HERE I JUST KEEP TYPING YOU KNOW BECAUSE THEY ARE HANGING OVER ME AND I CANT MOVE.:: GIrls read this: (not you ladies not yet, I am talking about my gals here) IF YOU WANT ME TO JOIN YOU, MOVE THE FUCK OVER TO EACH OF YOUR SIDES, SO I CAN GET UP, YOU CAN SQUEEZE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER SO I CAN DO YOU BOTH. Lol Rebecca is all like "He is not really posting that stuff right? "Hey Nero you are not going to post that stuff are you? Lol Harris, does your sister know me again? Ps: Dont worry folks, I mean Harris is like my bro from another ho, seriously, I bang his sister, he goes like "THERE IS A GOOD CATCH SON!" And kept giving me the thumbs ups when she liked Anal too much and could not sit. ANYWAYSSSSSSS SHORT COMMENT GET! (Sorry id type more, but I think my dick is alive again... IT MUST DROWN IN THE JUICES OF WITCHES OF ENCHANT! "I wont post this Rebecca? Lol, you know why I do not care about their opinion Rebecca lady" BECAUSE I AM AWESOME, AND THEY ARE NOOOOOOOOOOT! Oh you do not want your bro to know... Rebbeca chan... Your bro just sent me a thumbs ups and "take good care of her bro" Yeah let me put this incredibly good laptop away and show you. Ps: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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