if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!