At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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sex me.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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