Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Do you live around here often?

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Stop Footing Around

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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jack sanders

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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sound of zipper

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!