Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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sound of zipper

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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-I love you.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!