Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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sound of zipper

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!