He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Walking to your car alone later?

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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So when' the baby due?

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!