Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!