Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!