- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

How much do you like peanut butter?

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

Nice legs what time do they open

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

I love Mark Wahlberg!

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book