Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

why are you you touching me ????

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Gaywatch starts

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

GET IN THE VAN!!!

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!