That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!