- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

You look... clean

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Nice hair, can I pull it?

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book