Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!