Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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I've got candy.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Have you met Ted?

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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imgonna r@pe you

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!