Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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hey bitch

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Male: Get in the van.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!