Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Lesbihonest

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!