Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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