imgonna r@pe you

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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nice kid... want another?

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!