Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Penis. I got it

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!