whats up ho

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

Hey can I have your number? No.

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!