- Anti-Pickup Line

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

Words of wisdom: temptations from the darker side, but do you got what it takes? (Balls children, balls) Example "not" from real life: My three girlfriends leave after all five of us bang well me (my wife is with em too now wait) the three others leave, my wife asks me what I thought about the... Manysome? Im tired, (for a reason eh?) I asked her to tell me first, she looked me in the eyes and said, lets invite them over again tomorrow. I raised my arm saying "FUCK YEAH! A LITERALL FUCK YEAH! RISING MY ARM INTO THE AIR AS A PUMP FIST, BUT SHE HIGH FIVED ME INSTEAD... What is there not to love? Where does the love fail? Love is endless and grows the more you share, SO START FUCKING MORE! No really lets analyze this, if you are scared already now, you are a bible bashing geek, and not selected to join the gene pool for the next generation, you see, mother nature weeds out filth such as you... While I... Well I got everything I want... ...Now if you could say the same, maybe you can, but its not something you can learn, its something you got to be. Lets move on shall we? 1. Oh No Nero, this means you do not love your wife? I do not love my wife because she not only allows me but with the condition that she can join? And that we beforehand agree if we like said people? I do not love my wife because I can fuck whoever I want whenever I want without her feeling insecure because what she loves most about me is how safe she feels with me present? Advice: Learn to think less like the dope pope and more like Nero the ladies Hero. (and Dont go making rhymes like that unless you are awesome like me). 2. AHA! THIS MEANS YOUR WIFE DOES NOT LOVE YOU! Uh, she knew she was marrying a womanizer, because she fell in love with said womanizer and not in what she could "transform him into", not what she could shape a man she considers perfect for her, if not perfect as a God (fuck I agree) and said womanizer made her feel safe enough to try if she would enjoy one or several more, and as an experienced well, courtesan (my my that was classy) I know that women tend to like each other... you know under 100 percent of my introductions... Why? We men (not you geeks) where born to fight, genetically we preserved/married hundred of women which are genetically weaker of strength (if not today, its because lesbos are invading us but hey) But could that man bang his 300 chicks all the time? NO, so what did they do... Well they had themselves a party, the man created more babies, and those women left a bit out, where suddenly not so shy about seeking a bit more than the "simpler" forms of company, this trait grew genetically stronger during the years during evolution, and there we go. You dont have to listen to me you know, my advices are only for the hardcore, bad ass MEN with some sincere intentions, and awesome attitude... You might simply have the bible or some other "bright" biblical value up your ass. Or take it out, and accept that you might be seen as an asshole by men, while your women will always be there to fulfill your every (other?) need? I dunno maybe you like men on the side or something, but I prefer watching a sportsgame with a couple of chicks, and just mine rather than a couple of dicks, then I go play playstation 4 with my "waifu" (the one I am legally married with does not enjoy games, so her I go watch television and have deep meaningful conversations with) The thing is, I cant convince you, this is either something you are born to do, or born to try to do and never get the chance to ending up a sad old virgin... Or simply the non genuine guy, getting a woman drunk and trying to fuck her before what? She throws up all over you? Is that your bright light? You can be darker, I would know, as I am Nero/Black. The End? Advice: She loves me for who I am for what I do, advice Numero dos: If you cannot be Nero, try going for the second best

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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