Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Male: Get in the van.

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whats up ho

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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