- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey wanna smash pissers?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

-I love you.

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: bitchslap get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

"Hmm...you'll do."

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book