- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book