- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

You look exactly like my sister.

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

are you on fire?

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book