-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

all in all it was a good orgy

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Does it smell in here or it just you?

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!