- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!