Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!