I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!