- Anti-Pickup Line

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go gives phone girl - silence after awkward phone call boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - silence boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy boy manages to get out of the bar boy installs bomb in center of bar boy leaves bar everyone attempts to get out of bar boy locks the door boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- explosion everyone dies MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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