Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

"You'll do."

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!