what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!