Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -67

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +18

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

thumb_up thumb_down -185

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

thumb_up thumb_down -63

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!