jack sanders

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Lesbihonest

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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