Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!