Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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