As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!