If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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adam burdass

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!