A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Do you live around here often?

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I have no gag reflex.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Gaywatch starts

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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