Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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