Whatever I'll just date myself.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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-I love you.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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whats up ho

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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You allergic to semen?

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!