Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Lesbihonest

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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