Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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- You look really nice - I know

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!