Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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whats up ho

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!