- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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I'll eat your poop

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!