- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

imgonna r@pe you

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an ahole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like st!"

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book