- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

adam burdass

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book