Your skin would make a nice coat.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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I'll eat your poop

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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I hate you already.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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"Don't scream"

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!