so... you're a girl,huh?

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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I'll punch ya!

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!