why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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