I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!