- Anti-Pickup Line

Happy BirthdaySean!

You allergic to semen?

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

Im gonna rape you..

i want a blowjob bitch lifts her hijab

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

will you marry me

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! claps me on shoulder Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! leaves Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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