Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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you look like my mother

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!