- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!