"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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I have no gag reflex.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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