- Anti-Pickup Line

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people cape flowing in the air moon in background Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

you look like my mother

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Im gonna rape you..

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Your body would look good in my trunk.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!