Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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