What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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-I love you.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Do you live around here often?

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!