HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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-I love you.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Do you live around here often?

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!