- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I hate you already.

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Man: Dayuuuum slaps ass Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Do you want to see something swell?

I'll eat your poop

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

free candy....

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book