Jdkfk

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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imgonna r@pe you

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!