My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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