"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!