Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Welcome to DIE!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!