M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

I have a gun.

fancy going halves on a bastard?

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

You look exactly like my sister.

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!