Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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I have a gun.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Im gonna rape you..

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!