Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

thumb_up thumb_down

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +246

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

thumb_up thumb_down -95

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +162

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +144

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

fancy going halves on a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +179

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +191

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!