Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +246

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

thumb_up thumb_down +96

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

thumb_up thumb_down +92

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

fancy going halves on a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

thumb_up thumb_down -98

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +164

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +179

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -118

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +137

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +57

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +53

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!